Sweet Music
by Pax Morgana
Summary: A pair of connected one-shots surrounding the death of our favorite coughing tokujou. GenHaya slash. Rated for language.
1. Valentine's Day

**A/N:** This one-shot was inspired not only by the song from which it got its name, but by my intense love for this pairing, as well as the tragedy that inexorably accompanies it. This may or may not be the first in a series of one-shots concerning this pairing. This is my first GenHaya, and hopefully not my last.

* * *

**  
Valentine's Day**

_But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing__  
I used to be my own protection, but not now  
Cause my path had lost direction, somehow  
A black wind took you away from sight  
And held the darkness over day, that night...  
_"Valentine's Day" - Linkin Park.

--

You lied.

You told me that you would meet me, that you would make that day special for me because no one had ever done it for you, and you _lied_. And now, here it is, a year later, and you're still not here. Not in the sense that I want you to be. I met you instead this year, because there was no other choice, and I sure as hell couldn't spend the day alone. Well, I could have, but it would summon up all of the painful things that it took me a _whole fucking year _just to suppress. So here I am, talking to the thin air and pretending it's you. Because a fucking stone can't talk, can it?

...Didn't think so.

Why did you have to let that happen? After all that bullshit you gave me about wanting to _live_, you went and got yourself killed. And I can't do a damn thing about it because the bastard that murdered you is our ally now. A fine fucking mess you've gotten us into, Hayate. Thanks a lot. I never liked Valentine's Day much, because I always spent it alone. Now I _hate_ it, because I _could_ have spent it with _you_. Except you had to die and leave me both alone _and_ lonely. What kind of sick joke was that? Promising all of that romantic shit, getting me all excited...and now we're here. You're beneath my feet, and I'm reduced to talking to a cold, black piece of rock that you have to share with a bunch of other dead people. You don't even get your own _grave_, even though you deserve it a hell of a lot more than some.

This whole situation is bullshit, Hayate. Total bullshit. The _one_ day that I was looking forward to, long after all of the days had begun to feel the same, and you had to go and _die_ before February even hit. Now, instead of spending the day holding you, telling you that I love you and all of the romantic shit that I was never brave enough to say any other day of the year, I'm trying not to cry like a baby, and begging you to come back.

Come _back_. Why won't you listen to me, you _idiot?_ Why are you putting me through this? I thought you loved me. This isn't how you treat someone you love, and who loves you back, and who wanted to spend every waking moment and then some with you. How fucking ungrateful can you get? The worst part of it all is that you _smiled_. The day before you broke all of the promises we'd made to each other, you smiled and joked about dying.

--

_"Genma, I'm so happy. If I were to die tomorrow, I wouldn't care, because there's no way I can be happier than I am __**right now**__," Gekkou Hayate said with a bright, childish grin that he reserved specifically for Shiranui Genma. The latter frowned, even as the former snuggled comfortably in his arms and kissed the hollow of his throat._

_"Don't say that, Hayate. You never know." The small swordsman blinked confusedly up at his lover, before the smile returned to his lips. He chuckled softly and buried his face into Genma's chest._

_"What's this? Am I sensing a hole in your grand, live-for-today philosophy?" He giggled teasingly, though his smile sagged when he looked back up and saw the grave look on the elder male's face. His brow furrowed, and he placed a soft, apologetic kiss on the other's lips. "I'm sorry. But I promise you that I will do my best to not die tomorrow. Every day afterward is fair game, but tomorrow is definitely off-limits. So don't worry, okay? Just relax; be happy with me."_

--

_"...What?" Genma's face seemed to collapse in on itself as he tried to comprehend Raidou's words._

_"Hayate's dead, Genma. Murdered." The tawny-haired shinobi stared at the scarred other in disbelief and shook his head._ _**No... He's joking, right? Hayate promised...  
**_  
_"No..."_

_"Genma, I'm sorry. I know the two of you were close..." And he did look very sorry, but Genma didn't see. He was staring at the floor, teeth clamping so tightly over his senbon that Raidou thought it might snap in two. "We're still looking for the one who did it, but--"_

_"...Where is he? I want to see him." Raidou didn't need to ask which 'he' Genma meant - his tone said it all. The grief-stricken shinobi stood shakily, moving toward his friend in slow, agonizing steps. He had to see Hayate, had to say goodbye..._

_--_

Would you mind telling me why the hell you did that? Did you know this was going to happen? Were you making fun of me? Or had you already given up...? That's it, isn't it? You'd given up on trying to live, accepted that you were going to die... You threw yourself into a losing battle just so you could prove that you could choose your own fate. Am I right? Well, if I am, then I'm obligated to tell you that you fucked up. Big time. Because now you're really gone, and I'm alone, and that's not changing because I don't believe that we'll ever meet again, whether we're alive or dead. Thanks to your stupid pride, I'm being forced to measure my life in Valentine's Days that I've spent missing you and wishing you were here with me. It's only been two so far - how many more do you think I'll last? You don't have an answer for _that_ one, do you?

Of course not. Why did I even ask?

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**  
A/N:** Well, there you have it. Please be kind and leave a review. :3


	2. The Haunting

**A/N**: I finally decided to write up a companion piece to "Valentine's Day". It takes place parallel to "Valentine's Day", but this time, it's from ghost!Hayate's point-of-view. I kept the format more or less the same. I really enjoyed writing the first flashback, but I hate the huge age gap. It makes things so awkward when they're younger.

Warnings: Angst, slash, F-bomb droppage.

Disclaimers: I don't own Naruto, but if I did, Hayate would still be alive and Yuugao would not exist. I also don't own the lyrics at the beginning. They belong to Kamelot. The song itself doesn't quite fit this time, but the chorus worked for what I wanted to do.

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**  
The Haunting**.

_Somewhere in time,  
I will find you and love you again  
Like the wind sweeps the earth.  
Somewhere in time,  
When no virtues are left to defend,  
You fall in deep..._

"The Haunting [Somewhere in Time]" – Kamelot, feat. Simone Simons.

- -

I don't like watching you when you get like this. It hurts so much to see you this way, especially since there's no way for me to help you, but as much as I would like to turn away when you're like this, I can't bring myself to do it. There are times when I love watching you, when I almost feel like things have gone back to the way they were, but right now is not one of those times. Now, you're yelling and crying and cursing, and all I want is to reach out and take you in my arms like a good lover ought to do.

I wish I were still alive beside you.

As it is, I can only listen to you as you rave on, completely unaware of my presence, spilling out your frustration and sadness to an uncaring grave-marker. I haven't left, you know; I had my chance to move on and have my peace in the afterlife, but I couldn't take it in good conscience, knowing you were still here and suffering, so I stayed. It's so frustrating to be _right here_ in front of you and be unable to comfort you. Of course, if I were able, there would be no reason to comfort you right now. We would be together on this, our second Valentine's Day, just like you wanted. Just like I'd promised. I'm sorry for doing this to you, Genma, and for breaking my promise. I didn't do it on purpose, even though some part of me knew that I wasn't going to live. I want so much to let you know that. I hope that, one day, my feelings are able to reach you, as impossible as it seems.

Sometimes, when I watch you, I remember the good times we had. Like scenes from a favorite movie, they play in my memory as if time had stopped right there in those moments. I'm not quite sure if I love it or if I hate it: I envy the me in my memories for being with you, for being able to touch and hold and kiss you like I no longer can, but I also treasure the fact that the me in my memories was once "me".

Do you remember the day we met? It seems so funny to me now, after all that has happened. I wonder if you ever think about it when you're alone. Does it give you pain or comfort when you do? I wish I could ask you these things.

- -

_"Why do you look like that?" fourteen-year-old Shiranui Genma asked around a well-chewed toothpick, arching an eyebrow at the skinny, dark-haired boy who looked two sizes too small for his clothes. The smaller boy blinked up at him with wide, brown eyes and coughed into a tissue._

_"Like what?" he asked with a slight tilt of his head. The two of them simply stood there, staring at and studying one another for a good few minutes. Genma scrutinized his classmate, while the dark boy merely blinked again._

_"Like..._that_. You're all skinny, and your eyes have bags under 'em. Don't you sleep?" Screwing up his face as though he were thinking very hard, the younger of the pair contemplated this. In the end, he shrugged._

_"I'm sick," he said matter-of-factly, coughing again as though to prove it, "That's all."_

_"Oh. You gonna die?"_

_"Maybe. Maybe not." Genma's cheeks colored slightly from embarrassment – it was one of the few times he'd ever felt abashed for anything – and he looked away from the boy, who didn't seem too bothered by anything at all._

_"Oh. What's your name?"_

_"Hayate."_

_"That's a dumb name. How old are you?" Hayate didn't seem to mind the insult to his name. In fact, his lips twitched upward for a brief moment before drooping back down into their usual, emotionless line._

_"Seven. What's _your_ name?"_

_"Genma, and don't forget it."_

_"Sounds like an old man's name."_

_"Shut up, 'Yate."_

_"Okay. Sorry."_

- -

_"Yo, 'Yate," Genma greeted his friend, rubbing his knuckles into the younger Tokujou's hair. Hayate swatted at the hand, but nevertheless crinkled his nose in one of those rare, amused grins that only his closest friend got to see. They exchanged playful nudges, as though they were kids rather than young adults with a seven-year age gap between them._

_"Yo yourself. Mission go okay?" Hayate was jostled when Genma's arm fell heavily around his narrow shoulders as the latter sat down beside him. The brunet gave a mirthless bark and sighed through his nose, which caused his friend to look up from tying his sandals. He made a curious noise at his older companion's reaction._

_"I wish," came the response after a few moments, "It was a fucking _disaster_. Rai took a pretty nasty hit to the leg, and Aoba broke an arm. We barely made it out of there. Got the job done, but _still_..." Hayate's features took on a horrified expression, to which Genma quirked an eyebrow._

_"You're okay, though, right?" the raven asked with an edge of panic in his voice, "You weren't hurt?" The senbon-user chuckled and pulled his best friend into a headlock, grinding his knuckles again into the crown of the younger male's head._

_"You're such a worrywart, 'Yate. I'm fine. Alive and kickin', with barely a scratch on me. You need to stop freaking out so much; you'll freak right into an early grave." Hayate pouted at this, still trapped in the vise of Genma's arm and squirming._

_"You can't really blame me, Gen. You're so _reckless_. It worries me that you won't always come out without a scratch."_

_"You say that like it's a bad thing."_

_"It _is_ a bad thing, Genma."_

- -

It's a little ironic, don't you think, that it was the worrywart that ended up dead. A year or two ago, you would have laughed at me and said that, even with the disease that was eating up my lungs, you'd be the first to go. I was the cautious one, while you always went out with your fists flying. I was content playing your sidekick, your tagalong puppy. Now look at us. I want things to go back to the way they were, when our roles were so simply defined, and I could touch you, and we could laugh like we didn't wake up every morning knowing we could die. At the very least, I want you to know I'm here. Even though you can't see me, I'm always here, ever the tagalong puppy, unwilling to leave your side.

To me, that's worth more than any kind of eternity that the afterlife could give.

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Please be kind and leave a review~


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